Self Development and Original Sin
Original sin is a religious concept, perhaps most notably present in Catholicism, and it expresses the idea that Adam and Eve committed a practically unforgivable sin by disobeying God. This often gets transformed into a sentiment like, “if only Adam and Eve hadn’t eaten the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil, we’d all be living it up in the Garden of Eden now.” This is, of course, preposterous, since if they had not eaten the fruit, they would never have been blessed with the ability to have children and there would never have been a need for the Bible at all, as it would have ended at Genesis chapter 2 with something like, “and the LORD placed Adam and Eve in the garden, where they lived happily ever after. The end.”
Within the context of all possible experiences in a person’s life, this same concept brings forth the misplaced notion that, had certain pieces of knowledge been gained earlier, they would have either:
Inevitably led to the current state at a much earlier point in their history, OR
The current state would necessarily be greatly improved.
To illustrate an example of this idea, here’s a recent lesson from my mastermind group. We had a guest speaker who happens to be a multi-millionaire real estate mogul. He generously gave us an hour of his time, and was very open about the mistakes he had made during his life, both in business and in his personal relationships.
During the course of the conversation, I noted that several times he lamented the fact that he had spent so much time “pursuing money” during his youth in order to “make my father proud of me.” He then admitted that, on some level, he knew his father would be proud of him no matter what he did, but that he still felt compelled to strive for success and achievement.
His advice for our group was to instead spend time doing things we love to do, such as spending time with family and “finding balance.” My question for him was, “do you think you’d be as successful today, if you hadn’t applied that pressure to yourself during that period of your life?”
His answer was, “that’s a good question.” That response bothered me.
In what is perhaps a more common / relatable example, I have often wondered what my present circumstances would be like if I had met (a version of) my wife 10 years earlier in my life. If I had met someone in my early twenties that I thought would have made a good wife, would I have had the wonderful children and the loving marriage I have today? Probably not.
My twenties were not a time in my life that I am particularly proud of, although I gained a lot of wisdom during that period. I don’t necessarily have to wonder whether I would have found a good spouse, as I did have several long term relationships during that period. All of them were with women that would have been poor choices for me as spouses. I do not say that to denigrate those women, but rather to admit that during that period, we were ill-suited for each other.
I’ve been thinking about why this guy’s answer bothered me so much, and I think the reason is because it seems very similar to an idea that is most commonly expressed today by the phrase “if I had known then what I know now, things would be different.”
On the one hand, I can see how it’s tempting to think things would be very different. This statement assumes the idea that, if people could somehow magically transport the knowledge they have gained over time back to their younger selves, that their present condition would somehow be altered. While it may be entertaining to think about it like that, it’s also very unlikely to be true.
The problem is, they’re overlooking the fact that the only reason they are able to enjoy the success they have today is precisely because of the lessons they learned along the way. Lessons which, taken out of the context in which those people learned from them, would be less effective, at best, or completely meaningless, at worst.
In fact, the implication of the statement goes even deeper than merely having “different” circumstances, and assumes that this knowledge would have resulted in objectively better present circumstances. This fallacy beguiles people into believing that they have discovered some bit of wisdom that was previously unknown to the world at large. In reality, their parents very likely attempted to relay this, or very similar, information to them at various points in their lives. Yet, the information was either dismissed out of hand, or deemed flawed in some way. Why?
Because context is what gives this kind of knowledge meaning. Knowledge in this sense is knowledge of principles (such as liars are not to be trusted), as opposed to information about the world (such as rocks fall to the earth because of gravity). You don’t necessarily need context to see that rocks always fall, but without context, it might be impossible to see that someone is not telling the truth.
This is what we commonly refer to as experience. The concept of original sin betrays the idea that experience is important, and gives the impression that only information is necessary to produce a particular result. The irony is that the only way to know that experience is important is by gaining it, and the only way to gain it is to go through the process, which inherently contains some chance of failure and mistake-making. And so, bringing it full circle, the mistakes made in the pursuit of experience are usually seen as things to be ashamed of, rather than opportunities to earn wisdom. It is this earned wisdom that gives us the perspective necessary to reflect on our past, recognize the folly of our actions, and to ultimately refine ourselves.
Bottom line: We should not shun, dismiss, excuse or fault these learning experiences, nor should we hold onto regrets about our past actions for any reason other than to refine our present and future actions. You cannot change the past, but you can learn from it and make the future better. Do not think less of those who do not learn the same lessons on the same timeline. After all, we’re individuals. As such, we all have a unique path to follow. We should not look for ways to short-circuit this path, but rather, look for ways to improve our receptiveness to the information that is coming at us, so that we can recognize when we need to make course corrections.
Challenge: This is one of the many ways agile principles can be brought to bear in our daily lives. Set aside some time on a regular basis to analyze experiences and hypothesize ways to improve the processes that produced them in the future. Implement those hypotheses and then analyze the results again. This is the essential path we all must follow to become successful. This is true whether the object of the analysis is software development, a cross-country roadtrip, or a relationship. What aspects of your life do you think can be improved by following this guidance?
As always, I am ready to serve you. If you’re interested in an accountability partner and a guide on your journey, then reach out to me and let’s get started on your adventure.
Be strong and of good courage, and good things will come your way.