My story
11 years ago, I metaphorically burned my ships, leaving all that I knew behind. I set out to create a new life with a woman I had only known for a short time. Not going to lie, it was rough! I had no job, our savings depleted quickly, and I didn't know what I was going to do. I tried a couple different things, going back to UK for a couple semesters, working here and there to try to make a little money, but it all seemed like I was spinning my wheels.
Eventually, I set my sights on a job in the software field. Having been an intelligence analyst in the military, I figured my best shot was becoming a business analyst. I quickly found out that hiring managers did not see any correlation between the two fields, and at first, it was hard for me to make the case. In the meantime, my wife and I had experienced the birth of our first daughter.
I also began reading books again during this period. Part of it was due to watching Glenn Beck on Fox News every night, and constantly hearing him saying, “don’t trust me, go read it yourself.” So, I did. I read lots of books, mostly U.S. History, but I also read the Bible and some other things. One of the books I read was a biography on Benjamin Franklin. In that book, the author discussed how Franklin’s father had put together a group of men he called a “junto.” This junto was a small group of like-minded people who met frequently to discuss ideas and encourage each other to achieve their goals. I really loved that idea, and I began to look for people I could pull into my own junto.
Beginning Anew
I worked at a factory for a few months, bolting gas tanks onto cars. The other guys there told me that I could expect to have my first shoulder surgery within two years, and my second one a few years after that. Not a promising prospect. I was also told that it would likely be six years before I could be hired on as a regular worker, due to the way the hiring process worked. Six years at $15 per hour with a 45 minute drive twice a day, working from 4pm until 2am sounded untenable to me. I was either going to have to move closer to work, or I was going to have to look elsewhere for a job.
I found a job closer to home, but it didn’t have any benefits...and it was seasonal...and it only paid $10 per hour…and it was a call-center. All things considered, it was a shorter drive, but I would come away with about the same amount of money in the end. The deciding factor for me was that this job at least got my foot in the door at a place where they didn’t tell you to plan your first and second shoulder surgeries.
During the two week training we had to attend before getting on “the floor” and answering calls, I paid attention to the way the instructor taught the class. Having been a professionally certified instructor in the military, I wrote a critique of the course and offered some suggestions on how to improve it. I then sent that to my supervisor and didn’t think anything else of it.
A few days later, I was called into my supervisor’s office. He told me that his manager wanted to speak to me. I went to her office and she asked me about the critique I had written. After a few minutes of conversation, she said the general manager had read it and really liked it, and he wanted to speak to me. So I had a conversation with him, too. He offered me a full time job. It was an immediate pay raise (back to $15), and I would be working with a newly formed team on a brand new effort for the company. I spent the next 8 months working on this project and helped launch the new program. I had a good time working there. I met several good people that I have maintained some contact with over the years.
Did I mention that I was also dealing with alcoholism at the time? Every night, I would go home and drink until everything was gone. If I wasn’t drunk enough to pass out, I would go to the store and pick up more and drink until I couldn’t keep my eyes open. It was during this time that I came up with a stupid idea (that, of course, sounded good at the time) and got myself fired.
The drinking had been going on for years, and it had become a problem. With no stable income, a penchant for the bottle, a wife and a daughter to care for, and an impending foreclosure, I was stressed to the max.
Turning Eastward
November 6th, 2012. I woke up with hazy memories of the election party the night before. As I sat in my chair, watching the news coverage half-interestedly, my daughter climbed up and sat with me, snuggling up like she usually did. The sun was pouring in through the living room windows, and I began to weep. My wife came into the room, saw me crying and asked me what was up. I couldn’t really explain it, but I had this nagging feeling that God had been trying to talk to me. He was asking me to stop drinking, and start going to church.
The year before, we had met with missionaries from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints for several months. I had enjoyed talking to them, but at the time, I didn’t feel inclined to join them. Sitting there in my living room 14 months later, my feelings had changed. I looked at my daughter and I decided that I did not want the kind of life for her that I had been building. A life full of excuses, self-pity and drinking. I decided to own my life, instead of letting it own me. I quit drinking that day, and I was baptized into the church 6 weeks later.
Shortly after that, we lost our first home to foreclosure. We moved back in with the parents, and were basically just treading water. I spent the next several months trying this and that, and even got a contract for, and built, a 12-week course for a very high-end jewelry company. I interviewed for a few different jobs, and fought with my parents and my wife occasionally. The pressure was on. Everyone expected more of me, but I didn’t really know how to deliver it.
It was a hard time for everyone in my family, and at times I felt very much alone. Then, I got an interview with a state agency to work as a software trainer. They offered me the job, and I accepted. It was $35 an hour, and we were finally able to move into our own place. We lived in Frankfort for a couple of years, and while the pay was good, I spent most of my days at the job wondering if I was going to do or say the wrong thing and end up getting fired again. My boss always seemed to like me, but she also seemed to have a tendency to abruptly terminate people without any provocation.
Building the Network
About a year later, I was interviewing for other positions and I met a guy who talked to me about the idea of personal development. He suggested a few books, and told me that he thought I was a good candidate, but he ultimately didn’t hire me. A few months later, I got contacted for an interview with a different guy. This one also seemed to be into this concept of personal development. He also stated that he thought I was a good candidate, but he did not hire me. At the end of the interview, he said “stay in touch.”
So, I did. I spent the next year sending him a message here and there, inviting him to lunch and picking his brain from time to time. Then one day, he called me and said, “I have an opening on my team and I want you to interview for it.” I was blown away. I, of course, accepted the offer and ended up getting the job. It was $47 an hour. I was thrilled to be getting out of the state job without getting fired, and to be leaving on good terms.
When I went to work for this new guy, I suddenly found that I did not fully understand the job. I was back to being confused and frustrated, but the job allowed me quite a bit of flexibility in my schedule, so I became increasingly withdrawn. For a while, we were having weekly one on one chats, and he was trying to help me set goals to be successful. He called me out on hiding a few times, and then one day he stopped speaking to me. This went on for almost two months. He would pass me in the hall, or walk past my desk and not a peep. No questions, nothing. It was like I didn’t exist. The company announced a reorganization, and he broke his silence. He told me they would be letting me go in a few weeks, right before Christmas. I was devastated.
The Entrepreneurial Fever Strikes!
About the same time, I had started working with my brother in law on a project. He is a brilliant programmer, and I found that I was pretty good at thinking about how people used software to achieve certain results. When my supervisor walked me out the door, I did not feel like I was in freefall mode, as I had the first time I was fired. This time, I felt like I was moving toward something. My brother in law and I worked hard for months without any income. I was still technically looking for a job, and I was getting some assistance from various church and state programs, but my interest was in building this thing that we had started calling a company.
We made no money for a very long time, but I learned a ton about agile development. For the better part of three years, I spent hours watching him write some code, and then I would go test it. Then we would talk about what worked and what didn’t, and then go back and do it again. It was the most fun I had ever had working. However, eventually, the lack of income caught up with us, and I wasn’t able to give 100% to that work.
I decided to use some completely different skills and I began doing some freelance woodworking. I did that for about a year, and it kept us afloat until one of the contacts we’d made with our software business offered to pay us to build a thing for him. The money was decent, but I couldn’t believe I was being paid to do something I really enjoyed doing.
I had also started going back to the gym, which was something I picked up when I was working with the military, and really enjoyed. Whenever I had enough money, I worked with a personal trainer. She was great and we became pretty good friends. One day, I was complaining about muscle soreness, and she suggested I get a massage. She gave a few recommendations, and I decided to go to one named Becca.
The Junto
Becca was the kind of person who was down to earth and completely disarming. She seemed like a friend I had known for a long time, and we had many good conversations during our sessions. One day, she said, “you know, with all this personal development stuff, I think you’d really like talking to my husband.” It sounded like an odd thing to me at the time, but I decided to take her up on it. I got his number and we talked a couple of times. We discussed a couple of books and then he invited me to join a Sunday morning call he had with his brothers and a couple other people.
He called the Sunday morning session a “mastermind” meeting, and said it was a group of guys who wanted to get better at life and achieve goals they had set for themselves. When he sent me the info for it, my heart stopped beating for a second. This mastermind was called “Junto.” I instantly knew I was in the right place. It had been almost 5 years since I first read that book about Ben Franklin, but in that moment, I knew that there was a force above and beyond me that was working to bring me what I wanted, as long as I kept my part of the deal.
We met every Sunday at 6am for almost a year. This was rough for me because I did not consider myself a morning person. The night before the first session I didn’t sleep at all for fear that I would oversleep and miss it. My personal development was exponentially increased during this period. I learned and read so much new material that opened my eyes to so many different possibilities that I could barely make sense of it all.
I also got some coaching from one of the brothers. We spent a few weeks working together, and while I made very little progress on my stated goals, it was tremendously helpful in clarifying how to set goals and what was needed to achieve them.
Leaving the Nest
Eventually, the day came when the mastermind stopped, and it became clear that I would no longer be able to work without income on the business my brother in law and I had been building. We had a few big, potential ideas, but I was running out of money again, and I couldn’t let my wife and children (now 3 of them!) go hungry. So, I went in search of a job.
This time, I got an interview quickly from a great company. They hired me almost immediately for the role of Product Owner, which is what I had spent the last few years doing (and loving!) in the business we had been building. My focus was no longer on the money (although it was enough to feed my family), it was on serving my customer. My entire mindset had shifted from “here’s what I need from my employer” to “here’s what I am committed to delivering to my employer.”
It had been about a year since I had spoken to Becca or her husband, but right after I got hired, I saw that she was offering life coaching. I signed up and worked with her for about 6 months. We talked about a lot of things I initially said I wanted to do, but ultimately ended up not doing them because I didn’t find any joy in them. However, that was also a win for me because it helped me to focus on things I actually enjoyed doing, and to stop torturing myself over things I only thought I wanted to do.
Not only did I NOT get fired from this job, I got promoted! A few months later, Becca’s coaching business started picking up steam. I saw her offering mastermind groups, and I decided to join one. Through this group of fantastic folks, I found the encouragement and accountability I needed to look into buying a new home. I set that as my goal, and 6 months later my wife and I moved our family into a home that has plenty of room for our soon to be family of 6!
Bona Fides
So, why am I telling you all of this? Yes, some of it is still quite embarrassing. No, I do not particularly enjoy divulging very private information in this way. However, I believe that there is a greater good that is served by my doing so. I want you to know where I am coming from when I say that I believe in the power of personal development and coaching. Over the course of my nearly 45 years on this planet, I have been completely broke more than once (we’re talking negative bank balances). I have dealt with personal tragedy, trauma and hardships galore. I have lived in squalid environments, and I have battled with many personal demons, including alcoholism.
However, I have also gotten to experience joy, love, forgiveness, mercy and entirely too many blessings to count.
I have fought my way back from poverty two times, finally learning how to apply the right lessons along the way. I have three (soon to be four!) beautiful children, and I have the honor of being called “husband” by my best friend and greatest love.
I am a trained and certified instructor, Master Training Specialist, Certified Scrum Product Owner, Agile coach and Certified Life Coach. I have trained, taught, mentored, and coached over 1,000 people on 4 continents and 22 countries over the course of my 25 year career.
I have used Agile principles in environments from startups to Fortune 50 companies to facilitate organizational transition, improve production quality and increase speed of product development. I have started over at, and worked my way up from the bottom more than many people, and I have also filled roles in executive suites.
This is my coaching philosophy
I believe that Jesus Christ and the Judeo-Christian faith are the most effective means of personal transformation because of my personal experiences with them. This does not mean that I discount or look down on other faiths, or those who are without faith. It simply means that, for me, Christ’s teachings have been both instructive and effective. I often cite biblical principles in discussions as a way of affirming the strength of certain points. After all, if a principle has remained unchanged for 2,000 years, it’s a safe bet that there is utility within it.
I believe that the Agile mindset is one of the most powerful instruments at our disposal for improving just about any human endeavor because of the simple fact that the essential elements are things we are already using in our day to day lives to improve the way we do just about everything, from waking up in the morning to compiling the TPS reports for the Bobs at work. Most of us simply don’t recognize what’s happening, so we miss out on the ability to maximize the impact this awesome tool can have in our careers, our companies and our personal lives.
I believe that every person has within them the means to create success, prosperity and joy for themselves and for others.
I believe that the key to unlocking this potential is effective coaching that holds you accountable for your commitments and challenges you to bite off ever so slightly more than you think you can chew.
I believe that by serving you in this way, I am serving my God, and I am helping you remove the artificial and arbitrary limitations that have been placed upon you by your friends, family, society, and even yourself.
I believe that you can do great things. Let me help.